10 things a wannabe entrepreneur should never do!

Alma Mater  |  7 November

1. Thou shall not start a company just because you read Steve Jobs’ biography.

2. Thou shall not start an event management company or a cafe and call yourself an entrepreneur.

3. Thou shall not start a company and put your picture on your website with CEO written below.

4. Thou shall not put “entrepreneur” as work info on your profile. Entrepreneur is not a profession.

5. Thou shall never dream of starting a company. Thou shall only act.

6. Thou shall never start a company to impress girls. Also thou shall never impress girls by telling them you’re an “entrepreneur”

7. Ok maybe the above point can be ignored.

8. Thou shall not constantly meet up with friends over drinks and say “dude lets start something of our own” and forget about it the next day.

9. Thou shall only thing big. Always.

10. Thou shall never posts notes like these .

Gujju Boy and the Internet Cafe

Alma Mater  |  7 November

Though they are a thing of the past now “Internet Browsing” centers were definitely a huge hit when we were in school. We once had to do a class project and so Sid, Gujju Boy, Rohit and I decided to do our “research” at the nearby “Internet Cafe”. Though it was totally unsaid we knew what lay ahead. We landed at the place with the owner already giving us dirty looks.

“What you waaant intranat faar” He questioned us like he was our dad or something.

“Sir class project sir” Gujju boy answered like an obedient boy.

“Be careful baays” He warned us like he had just given us the keys to the Pentagon.

We started with our research with Rohit taking the reigns. The four of us were huddled onto one computer thus preventing anyone to figure what we were doing. Rohit kept on researching when Sid finally broke his silence.

“Aye fucker, how long will you go on with this da”

“Bob, lets focus on our project” Rohit replied who was more likely to get a hard-on with his projects marks.

20 minutes went by when Rohit accidentally clicked on a wrong link. All of us rose from our slumber. Rohit’s hands started shivering.

“This is what I’m talking about bastards” Sid screamed.

By now it was too late. Sid had taken over the mouse and began to explore the site. What still surprises me was that Rohit and Gujju boy didn’t utter a word. Even though there two were hardcore nerds deep down inside they were hoping something like this happened.

And then in all this glory a naked lady started appearing at the speed of 5 kbs per second.

GULP.

As all of us stared at the screen completely unaware of the world around us. Meanwhile I heard a bunch of giggly young girls enter the internet cafe. While we were still waiting for the entire image to load we heard a scream. All of us froze.

We turned around. It was Gujju Boy’s younger sister and her friends.

Now many of you must have been caught watching porn by your parents or uncles or aunts but getting caught by a 5th grade girl.

Before we could say anything the girls bolted from the scene as though they had witnessed a murder or something.

By now the owner became aware of what had happened. He rushed to our computer like he had busted some major terrorist attack. He closed down our screens and banned us from the cafe forever. But this was the least of our concern.

Gujju Boy was shattered. Gujju boy never spoke about the incident ever after that day. Maybe his sister never told his mom or maybe his mum never questioned him. Or maybe he got belted so bad he never spoke about it again. Ah, the good ol days of the Internet Cafe.

 

Varun Agarwal,